...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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