sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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