The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
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