Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
