Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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