Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
