I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
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Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
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She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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