when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
