I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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