Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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