well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
