I never want to see another naked old woman again.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
