This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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