Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
