Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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