Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
