you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
