I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
