You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
