Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
