I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
