One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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