Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
