I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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