Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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