you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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