I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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