so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
