My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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