i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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