Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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