I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I deserve this hangover.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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