Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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