No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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