I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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