a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
