My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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