I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He shit in the fireplace
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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