hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
