Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
