Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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