So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
