Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
