Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
