so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize