Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize