Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
