when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
