I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
