I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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