What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
so much tequila, so little girl.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
