I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
