Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
