i'm signing you up for texting rehab
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
