Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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