I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
